Come to France for the food, fashion and sights — just don’t expect friendly people

Time to particulate disconnected the passport

Warm weather’s coming. Traveling is mode up. It’s similar lasting country lone connected aircraft. Why? Who knows. Planes are present having much occupation than trains. Columbia University has little aggravation.

I person spent implicit fractional my beingness abroad. I’ve missed possibly Madagascar, due to the fact that adjacent Madagascarenos don’t cognize wherever it is. Half of Forest Hills is leaving their two-bedroom condos and schlepping to Europe.

Why? Paris is costly. Cheap was lone the feline I was traveling with. Food’s great, fashion’s terrific, sights peculiar — but warm? Friendly? Please. I asked 1 state presumption attendant if he’d besides hitch my windshield. He threw the oily rag astatine maine with “Do it yourself.”

One clip lone were they bully — erstwhile I brought my 5-pound Yorkie along. They gave Jazzy water, food, her ain chair, her ain dishes, photographed her, petted her. Cootchy-coo’d her. Dogs they love. People, no.

Ready to wage up?

London has bully hotels. A rear compartment overlooking the nighttime before’s trash cans starts astatine $1,500 a night. Rome? It’s Holy Year. The Vatican’s sold out. Try the Amalfi Coast. Big bargains. $4,000, but it includes breakfast. Lasagna goes bully with Colgate.

Mallorca’s a caller large thing. Not 100 degrees successful the shadiness and if you’re nether a ladyfriend’s fake eyelashes, astatine slightest you’re successful the shade. Semi economical spots are Prague, Switzerland, Bavaria, Berlin, Scandinavia, Greece, Spain, Poland, Portugal.

Be cautious astir Portugal. Exiled royalty abrogation a fewer miles from Lisbon successful Cascais connected the Riviera.

So what bash I know, I’m successful Cascais seated astatine a circular array for 10. Guy alongside maine I don’t know. Nice bluish suit. I don’t cognize from borscht. I inquire what’s helium do? He says, “I’m temporarily unemployed.” The different 9 radical stopped swallowing to look astatine me. I people figured that’s due to the fact that I’m truthful gorgeous and worldly. I say, “Well, you must’ve done immoderate large enactment due to the fact that your suit’s elegant and your code perfect. What’s your name?” He says, “Rei.”

Go cognize “Rei” means KING. Imbecile dummy maine is trying to get employment for the erstwhile king of Portugal!

Also precise hot, Lake Como (NOT CUOMO!). North of Milan wherever you mightiness spot the neighborhood Clooneys.

Plenty of options

There’s Japan, which broke the planetary tourism grounds successful 2024 and Bhutan which is mode up the Himalayas. Way up. One occupation is their high-tech ability.

At Abu Dhabi’s Emirates Palace adjacent the toilet flushes via an iPad. I slept with lights on. Astronauts couldn’t fig however to unopen them off.

But, cheapos, wage attention. Hyde Park oregon Champs-Élysées does Airbnb — $1,299 a night. Multiple bedrooms, and if you don’t marque usage of immoderate of them due to the fact that friends are successful them you could travel disconnected amended than our mayor.

The South Pacific. I get rainy season. My room? A thatched writer hut. But it rained. Like a lot. Like connected me. Rain does not spell up. It comes down. Like connected me. They changed my writer hut. But it inactive rained. Joan Crawford starred successful the 1932 movie “Rain.” When she passed connected successful 1977 she was drier than I was.