Mullet war erupts at elite Australian schools

OPINION

The resurgence of the mullet is 1 of life’s large mysteries.

It is simply a filthy haircut that should person been near successful the 1990s.

The mullet is, by each nonsubjective measures, an disfigured hairstyle. It doesn’t look bully with immoderate signifier of clothing, is unflattering to the face, defies each rules of stylistic proportionality and, since 2020, conjures up images of jailed tiger-loving nutcase Joe Exotic.

There are lone 2 redeeming qualities of the mullet – that it allows you to place a Collingwood protagonist without having to number their teeth and Iran banned it for being an “un-Islamic”, “decadent occidental cut”.

Not that it truly makes maine deliberation of decadence. Perhaps the lone hairstyle worse is the rat tail.

So convey heavens idiosyncratic is starting to enforce immoderate standards.

The Herald Sun this week reported that parents of Victorian backstage schoolhouse boys are up successful arms implicit a increasing crackdown connected the mullet.

Schools specified arsenic Marcellin College, successful Melbourne, are enforcing haircut rules that prohibition mullets, assertive fades and different unkempt styles.

One genitor told the Herald Sun that the argumentation was “basically a suspension for the insignificant offence of expressing their property done their haircut”.

Newsflash: it’s not the school’s occupation to fto your lad bash immoderate the hellhole helium wants.

Schools person had azygous policies everlastingly and a day. No 1 complains that his oregon her lad is being deprived of the accidental to explicit his property due to the fact that he’s not allowed to spell to schoolhouse successful pyjamas.

Haircuts are nary different. It is the prerogative of the schoolhouse to determine however its students should present.

If they’d similar boys came to schoolhouse not looking similar bogans, past that’s just enough.

Private schools are not lone acrophobic with marks successful the schoolroom – they’re charged with looking aft and gathering a full person. It’s arsenic overmuch astir quality arsenic it is world outcomes.

Part of that is teaching the realities of the satellite and civilian society, including pridefulness successful one’s quality and what that conveys to the world.

A mullet does not correspond the values for which astir backstage schools stand.

And it’s not similar you don’t cognize those values erstwhile you motion your lad up to a backstage school.

You tin ever instrumentality your tens of thousands of dollars annually and nonstop your lad to a nationalist schoolhouse alternatively – it ne'er wounded me.

Trinity Grammar lawman headmaster Rohan Brown caused a kerfuffle successful 2018 erstwhile helium trimmed a boy’s fringe connected photograph time aft informing parents that their sons were to travel to schoolhouse with their hairsbreadth cut.

He was sacked – and the schoolhouse assemblage chopped crook.

Students went connected strike, refused to deterioration their uniforms and protested to “bring backmost Brownie”. And that they did a period later.

Mr Brown didn’t conscionable attraction astir marks – helium cared astir the boys. That’s wherefore helium chopped a student’s hairsbreadth and the students understood that.

In a satellite wherever standards are slipping – conscionable look astatine the mode radical formal successful offices post-pandemic – these schools ought to beryllium congratulated.

It’s not hard to not look similar a bum.

Caleb Bond is an Sydney-based commentator and big of The Late Debate connected Sky News Australia.